One day last week, as I sat dutifully in my office at work, my phone rang.
Me: Hello?
Voice: Hi NM, this is RT (a friend of mine). I’m here at the Hills Bank and so is your mother.
Me: What? She is?!
RT: Yes… she has her walker and the dog. She seems a little confused.
Me: I’ll be right there…
RT: I can take her home if you’d like….
Me: No, I’ll come. Thanks RT.
RT: I’ll stay here with her till you get here.
Me: Thank you.
Many thoughts went through my mind as I drove the mile to the bank. What was she doing there? Trying to withdraw money? Checking her accounts? Getting a free cup of coffee?
I spot the three of them as I turn into the parking lot… in the shade of the bank entrance, Grandma seated on her walker, panting dog at her feet, RT standing beside them. RT approaches the car as I shut off the motor.
RT: She’s afraid you’re going to be mad at her.
I breathe a sigh of relief. She hasn’t completely lost her mind…. she knows she’s in trouble.
I get out of the car and walk to Grandma. I ask her what she thought she was doing.
G: I went for a walk. I made a wrong turn or something, but then I saw the grocery store and knew where I was. I just didn’t know how to get back. I saw the bank so I came here.
The dog is in need of water. Grandma is sweating.
Me: Let’s go home.
RT offers to load the walker into the back of his pickup. I take Grandma and Sam in my car.
Me: Mom… it isn’t safe to take dogs out in this heat. (appealing to her dog-sense). Poor Sam can’t handle mid-day temperatures.
G: I didn’t plan to go that far. We were just taking a walk. I think it’s good for my arthritis. DH told me I should walk.
Me: He didn’t tell you to walk as far as the bank! What if you had fallen? What if Sam had gotten away from you? (Fat chance and yes, pun intended…)
We arrive home, unload the walker, reiterate our appreciation to RT and as he leaves, go in the house. We continue to discuss the potential problems venturing away from home alone could cause. She says she is sorry.
Later that evening, I get a message from a friend who works at the bank. She had been working at the drive-thru when Grandma and Sam “rolled up”. Grandma had pointed to the highway and asked if that was the way back to the town where D1 is located. My friend, not realizing Grandma lived with us now (a few blocks from the bank) thought she had walked all the way from D1 and offered to get her a ride back. That was when RT came into the bank, recognized Grandma and called me.
Grandma is no longer allowed to cross the street. We’ve arranged for Ruby to come by each day to walk with her if she wants (or she can take short strolls along the sidewalk around our house when we are home). She is also walking around the outside of the house several times a day and anxious to meet the neighbors who live nearby.
I’m thinking about printing up flyers to distribute with Grandma’s picture and our address, just in case she gets off course again. (A “Neighborhood Grandma Watch”) I had thought about getting a microchip to put under her skin but it turns out those are only for animals (not humans, except in science fiction movies). Someone suggested an electronic monitoring bracelet. If Grandma becomes a repeat offender, we may need to look into it. Actually, RT is a retired Federal parole/probation officer - I bet he could hook us up.
So ends Episode 29
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Episode 28 - No Room at the Inn
It’s been a rough week. Grandma has had some lucid days and then she has had some not so lucid days. Likewise – we’ve had some incredibly stressful days… and then some, not as bad.
Sadly, it is hard to blog when I most need to. It seems I get caught up in the fray and there expend every ounce of energy I have. My mind is like jello. This evening, we’ve spent two hours talking about the floor plan of our house…. who “sleeps” where and all of the entrances. We’ve discussed this in depth, over and over. Usually she ‘gets it' – but sometimes, like tonight, it’s a losing battle.
Tonight, Grandma was asking to have an overnight. She has a friend in the nursing home (in her 90’s) with whom Grandma thought it would be fun to have a slumber party.
G: I just think it would be fun to have her stay overnight.
Me: You can’t do that Mom. She lives in a nursing home. She can’t just leave without her family’s permission.
G; What do they have to do with it?
Me: They are her family. They expect her to be where they have arranged for her to be.
G: Well I don’t get it. We’ve been friends for years.
Me: *sigh*
This past weekend, DH and I did some work around the house. One job involved power washing the siding of the house and the deck. Grandma was enthralled with the process. She put a chair front and center at the sliding glass door so she could watch every minute. Well, not every minute. She ran back and forth to the living room, where an exciting episode of Deal or No Deal was playing on GSN.
G: Oh, the side of that garage looks wonderful without that green stuff growing on it.
Me: Yeah, the power washer does a good job, doesn’t it?
G: It looks great…. I’ll be right back. She’s going for a million.
Me: OK - I’m going back out to help DH.
G: Her mother is there helping her. I’d be a wreck.
Today, CeCe told me she was sitting outside over the weekend, listening to her IPOD, when Grandma came out and joined her.
G: Now where is it you live?
CeCe: Uh… here? Upstairs.
G: Oh. What about your parents?
CeCe: They sleep in the room next to mine, upstairs.
G: I didn’t know that. I used to have one of those.
CeCe: What?
G: One of those things. (pointing to the IPOD)
CeCe: You did?
G: Yes, but it was a long time ago.
I told CeCe she should have asked her what was on her playlist. (I could guarantee it would include Lawrence Welk and The Gaithers).
Of course, I owe much of my remaining sanity to those two fellas. As you know, each week, we record the music programs to playback for Grandma later. When circumstances warrant it, we turn on one of the shows for her to view.
Me: How bout a Gospel Hour? (scanning the DVR) Let’s see what we have here…
G: There’s Bill…. I want that one.
Me: Bill it is.
Grandma cannot get away from the complex mentality. She’s quite sure there are others living here. She assures us there are others ‘wanting’ to move in (and we’ve assured her. that will not happen). Of course, she is constantly talking about her conversations with “them”. “They” have no names, “Someone” wanted to store things in our garage.
G: I told them they’d have to talk to you … and that garage needs cleaning.
Me: No it doesn’t – we just cleaned it a few weeks ago.
G: You did?
DH: Yes… we did (I’m certain he’s recalling the half day spent cleaning the garage last month).
Grandma called and left a message on my voicemail today asking if I could “come by” when I got off work… she had something to go over with me. DH said he also got a call from her today asking him to “stop” after work. As we compared notes, and talked with her later – it became apparent, Grandma thinks SHE lives in our house… but evidently we do not. We attempt to set her straight, but I have this fear of coming home someday to find half a dozen senior citizens occupying our bedrooms.
No matter, the garage is not for rent…. There are no rooms for rent…. We have No Vacancies (just in case “they” ask you).
So ends Episode 28.
Sadly, it is hard to blog when I most need to. It seems I get caught up in the fray and there expend every ounce of energy I have. My mind is like jello. This evening, we’ve spent two hours talking about the floor plan of our house…. who “sleeps” where and all of the entrances. We’ve discussed this in depth, over and over. Usually she ‘gets it' – but sometimes, like tonight, it’s a losing battle.
Tonight, Grandma was asking to have an overnight. She has a friend in the nursing home (in her 90’s) with whom Grandma thought it would be fun to have a slumber party.
G: I just think it would be fun to have her stay overnight.
Me: You can’t do that Mom. She lives in a nursing home. She can’t just leave without her family’s permission.
G; What do they have to do with it?
Me: They are her family. They expect her to be where they have arranged for her to be.
G: Well I don’t get it. We’ve been friends for years.
Me: *sigh*
This past weekend, DH and I did some work around the house. One job involved power washing the siding of the house and the deck. Grandma was enthralled with the process. She put a chair front and center at the sliding glass door so she could watch every minute. Well, not every minute. She ran back and forth to the living room, where an exciting episode of Deal or No Deal was playing on GSN.
G: Oh, the side of that garage looks wonderful without that green stuff growing on it.
Me: Yeah, the power washer does a good job, doesn’t it?
G: It looks great…. I’ll be right back. She’s going for a million.
Me: OK - I’m going back out to help DH.
G: Her mother is there helping her. I’d be a wreck.
Today, CeCe told me she was sitting outside over the weekend, listening to her IPOD, when Grandma came out and joined her.
G: Now where is it you live?
CeCe: Uh… here? Upstairs.
G: Oh. What about your parents?
CeCe: They sleep in the room next to mine, upstairs.
G: I didn’t know that. I used to have one of those.
CeCe: What?
G: One of those things. (pointing to the IPOD)
CeCe: You did?
G: Yes, but it was a long time ago.
I told CeCe she should have asked her what was on her playlist. (I could guarantee it would include Lawrence Welk and The Gaithers).
Of course, I owe much of my remaining sanity to those two fellas. As you know, each week, we record the music programs to playback for Grandma later. When circumstances warrant it, we turn on one of the shows for her to view.
Me: How bout a Gospel Hour? (scanning the DVR) Let’s see what we have here…
G: There’s Bill…. I want that one.
Me: Bill it is.
Grandma cannot get away from the complex mentality. She’s quite sure there are others living here. She assures us there are others ‘wanting’ to move in (and we’ve assured her. that will not happen). Of course, she is constantly talking about her conversations with “them”. “They” have no names, “Someone” wanted to store things in our garage.
G: I told them they’d have to talk to you … and that garage needs cleaning.
Me: No it doesn’t – we just cleaned it a few weeks ago.
G: You did?
DH: Yes… we did (I’m certain he’s recalling the half day spent cleaning the garage last month).
Grandma called and left a message on my voicemail today asking if I could “come by” when I got off work… she had something to go over with me. DH said he also got a call from her today asking him to “stop” after work. As we compared notes, and talked with her later – it became apparent, Grandma thinks SHE lives in our house… but evidently we do not. We attempt to set her straight, but I have this fear of coming home someday to find half a dozen senior citizens occupying our bedrooms.
No matter, the garage is not for rent…. There are no rooms for rent…. We have No Vacancies (just in case “they” ask you).
So ends Episode 28.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Episode 27 - The Night the Lights Went Out
With Spring upon us, thunderstorms are a common occurrence and unfortunately, responsible for the occasional loss of power. Such was the case a few days ago, when shortly before suppertime, we lost our electricity during a heavy downpour. I thought the worst part of the pending ordeal was the fact I had a rhubarb dessert half baked in my electric oven. Wrong.
DH was upstairs taking a nap and CeCe was at softball practice. Grandma and I were sitting in the living room (in our respective chairs) where we can (all) be found nightly... watching TV ... (DH and me usually with our laptops). Only this time - there was only the two of us... no TV .... no laptop. It was still daylight, and though raining - we could see easily without the absent lighting.
We chatted for a while about the storm... previous outages, what we might do for supper if the lights didn't come back on ... the typical dialogue, in light of the circumstances (no pun intended).
After a thoughtful pause, Grandma made a comment about "what she might do next" in her life. "Next, Mom?" I said. "Just look at all you've done in your life. Don't you think you could maybe just relax for a little while?" She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.
The conversation segue ways to the subject of loneliness. Grandma, like many elderly people, complains of being lonesome.
Me: You were lonely in D1 too Mom. You always complained about not seeing more of us... now you see us all the time.
G: I know. I can't explain it - So many of our people are gone.
Me: Yeah, I'm sure that's hard.
G: Do you know any men?
Me: Men? What kind of men? What do you want with a man?
G: Oh... just someone to talk to. I don't think I want to date or go out, but maybe I would.
Me: (silence)
G: So, do you know any?
Me: Uh... No.
DH and I have enough to deal with, supervising CeCe's social life - I don't think we have it in us to screen would be suitors for Grandma also. I change the subject.
Me: Have you talked to any of your friends lately?
G: Aunt Helen called.
Me: She did?!?
G: Yes, I was so surprised to hear from her. We haven't talked in a long time... you know, I actually thought she was gone...
Me: Like, when did she call?
G: A couple days ago. I can't remember where she said she's living but she thanked me for the Christmas card I sent her.
I got nuthin' and so said as much.
G: She said she had heard I was living with you but had trouble finding the number. It was so nice to talk to her. She said she wanted to be sure to keep in touch with me and I said I'd send her a card again at Christmas.
Me: Did you happen to get her phone number?
G: No, I don't think so.
Me: Well I sent your Christmas cards out last year, and we didn't send one to Aunt Helen, because you were right... she did pass away, five years ago.
G: She did? ....... Well who do you think called me?
Me: I don't know. Maybe you were dreaming.
G: Do you have any way we can verify that she really died?
Me: Hmmm, well I sang at the funeral and I think you have a news clipping in a container under your bed.
The power has been off close to an hour now. I have about reached my limit. I excuse myself and go upstairs to "wake" DH. (Was he sleeping all that time or avoiding captivity in the living room?)
Me: DH, you have to come downstairs.
DH: Why?
Me: I'm going to lose it... she says Aunt Helen called her.
DH: Oh joy.... (getting up) OK.
We rejoin Grandma in the living room where she tells DH the TV won't work.
DH: That's because the electricity is off.
G: Well this still works (holding her remote control). See? (pressing a button) ... the light comes on but the TV won't.
DH: There's a battery in the remote control that is making the light come on.
G: I didn't know that.
We talk a bit and then I spot the local newspaper. There have been a series of articles about a 50 year old, unsolved murder in our hometown. I ask Mom if she remembers it. "No," she replies. I remember growing up hearing and reading accounts of the murder, so find the latest "Cold Case" series fascinating. I move to the chair next to Grandma, where the dwindling daylight allows me to read (aloud) the articles in this week's edition. She leans forward in her chair, listening to every word, occasionally commenting on something that stirs a memory.
A few minutes after I finish reading, CeCe arrives home and (hallelujah) the lights come back on. DH makes toast and eggs for supper. Grandma must have tired from all the visiting and decides to retire early. I turn my efforts to salvaging my half baked rhubarb dessert. Compared to the rest of the evening - it really wasn't that bad.
So ends Episode 27.
DH was upstairs taking a nap and CeCe was at softball practice. Grandma and I were sitting in the living room (in our respective chairs) where we can (all) be found nightly... watching TV ... (DH and me usually with our laptops). Only this time - there was only the two of us... no TV .... no laptop. It was still daylight, and though raining - we could see easily without the absent lighting.
We chatted for a while about the storm... previous outages, what we might do for supper if the lights didn't come back on ... the typical dialogue, in light of the circumstances (no pun intended).
After a thoughtful pause, Grandma made a comment about "what she might do next" in her life. "Next, Mom?" I said. "Just look at all you've done in your life. Don't you think you could maybe just relax for a little while?" She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.
The conversation segue ways to the subject of loneliness. Grandma, like many elderly people, complains of being lonesome.
Me: You were lonely in D1 too Mom. You always complained about not seeing more of us... now you see us all the time.
G: I know. I can't explain it - So many of our people are gone.
Me: Yeah, I'm sure that's hard.
G: Do you know any men?
Me: Men? What kind of men? What do you want with a man?
G: Oh... just someone to talk to. I don't think I want to date or go out, but maybe I would.
Me: (silence)
G: So, do you know any?
Me: Uh... No.
DH and I have enough to deal with, supervising CeCe's social life - I don't think we have it in us to screen would be suitors for Grandma also. I change the subject.
Me: Have you talked to any of your friends lately?
G: Aunt Helen called.
Me: She did?!?
G: Yes, I was so surprised to hear from her. We haven't talked in a long time... you know, I actually thought she was gone...
Me: Like, when did she call?
G: A couple days ago. I can't remember where she said she's living but she thanked me for the Christmas card I sent her.
I got nuthin' and so said as much.
G: She said she had heard I was living with you but had trouble finding the number. It was so nice to talk to her. She said she wanted to be sure to keep in touch with me and I said I'd send her a card again at Christmas.
Me: Did you happen to get her phone number?
G: No, I don't think so.
Me: Well I sent your Christmas cards out last year, and we didn't send one to Aunt Helen, because you were right... she did pass away, five years ago.
G: She did? ....... Well who do you think called me?
Me: I don't know. Maybe you were dreaming.
G: Do you have any way we can verify that she really died?
Me: Hmmm, well I sang at the funeral and I think you have a news clipping in a container under your bed.
The power has been off close to an hour now. I have about reached my limit. I excuse myself and go upstairs to "wake" DH. (Was he sleeping all that time or avoiding captivity in the living room?)
Me: DH, you have to come downstairs.
DH: Why?
Me: I'm going to lose it... she says Aunt Helen called her.
DH: Oh joy.... (getting up) OK.
We rejoin Grandma in the living room where she tells DH the TV won't work.
DH: That's because the electricity is off.
G: Well this still works (holding her remote control). See? (pressing a button) ... the light comes on but the TV won't.
DH: There's a battery in the remote control that is making the light come on.
G: I didn't know that.
We talk a bit and then I spot the local newspaper. There have been a series of articles about a 50 year old, unsolved murder in our hometown. I ask Mom if she remembers it. "No," she replies. I remember growing up hearing and reading accounts of the murder, so find the latest "Cold Case" series fascinating. I move to the chair next to Grandma, where the dwindling daylight allows me to read (aloud) the articles in this week's edition. She leans forward in her chair, listening to every word, occasionally commenting on something that stirs a memory.
A few minutes after I finish reading, CeCe arrives home and (hallelujah) the lights come back on. DH makes toast and eggs for supper. Grandma must have tired from all the visiting and decides to retire early. I turn my efforts to salvaging my half baked rhubarb dessert. Compared to the rest of the evening - it really wasn't that bad.
So ends Episode 27.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Episode 26 - There's No Place Like Home
Grandma and I are home alone this evening. So far, we have watched Lawrence Welk, Life Today and I'm hoping to close out the evening with The Gospel Hour. Grandma could not be happier.
Was it really only 3 days ago I was in Arizona?
DH and I returned Saturday, from our sunny Arizona respite, to unseasonably chilly, Iowa weather. One of the sons and his wife had driven up the evening before, for the weekend. While we were exiting the airport parking lot, I got a text message from him.
"She's hungry. What do you have planned for lunch."
"DH," I said, "Vacation is over."
I wasn't sure I was ready... but I had no choice.
We were met with hugs and smiles when we came into the house. I felt genuinely missed and think Ruby was as happy to see us as Grandma (and probably ready for a respite from respite care). We had lunch and caught up on mail, messages and the local news.
A while later, as we sat in the living room, Grandma told me there was a new red truck in the neighborhood.
G: Do you know who that red truck belongs to?
Me: Nope, I never saw it before...
G: It sure is a nice truck. I wonder if it belongs to the lady with the red car....
The "Watch" resumes.
A short while later, she asked me:
G: Where are you folks living now?
Me: What?
G: Where are you two living?
Me: We live here Mom... we were just on vacation in Arizona.
G: I know that, but where are you going to be living now?
I feel my tan fading...
The next day we had CeCe's "boy" friend over after church. After lunch, they decided to go to the movie matinee ... as they went out the door, Grandma asked the grandson, "Is CeCe married?" There are shocked looks and stifled laughter from the daughter-in-law.
Son: CeCe? Married?
G: Yes. Is she?
Son: Grandma - she's 15.
G: That's right.
I say a silent prayer of thanksgiving that I'm in the kitchen and only listening from a distance.
I wonder who's staying in Room 108 of our hotel in Mesa?
Last night she was a little distressed that with Ruby gone, she'd be "alone" in the basement.
G: Where are the other tenants?
DH: There are no other tenants.... just you, and you're not a tenant, you live here.
G: Well there were other tenants...
Me: Ruby was here for several days, but we're back now... and she went home.
G: I'm all by myself? I don't think I like that.
I miss the pool ...
The Gospel Hour is almost over. Grandma has told me she knows a lot of these people. "On TV?" I ask.
G: Yes, I know a lot of them. That guy... I know him. I can't think of his name.
Me: Bill Gaither? You know him?
G: Yes I do.
Me: Where do you know them from?
G: Oh, different places. And him... I know him! (Jake Hess)
Me: Really...
G: And that heavy lady... I've known her for a long time (Vestal Goodman)
To my knowledge, Grandma has never met any of them (although she did meet Jim Nabors once.)
By the time George Beverly Shea came on the screen singing "How Great Thou Art" from a Billy Graham crusade - Grandma was singing along. The camera shot changes to a 92 year old Shea singing the next verse of the song a key or two lower.
G: Now who's that?
Me: George Beverly Shea ... it's the same guy.
G: Man, he's old now.
I wonder to myself - Do I tell her he's actually 101 now or ask if she's seen Jim Nabors lately?
Oh well - it's good to be home.
So ends Episode 26.
Was it really only 3 days ago I was in Arizona?
DH and I returned Saturday, from our sunny Arizona respite, to unseasonably chilly, Iowa weather. One of the sons and his wife had driven up the evening before, for the weekend. While we were exiting the airport parking lot, I got a text message from him.
"She's hungry. What do you have planned for lunch."
"DH," I said, "Vacation is over."
I wasn't sure I was ready... but I had no choice.
We were met with hugs and smiles when we came into the house. I felt genuinely missed and think Ruby was as happy to see us as Grandma (and probably ready for a respite from respite care). We had lunch and caught up on mail, messages and the local news.
A while later, as we sat in the living room, Grandma told me there was a new red truck in the neighborhood.
G: Do you know who that red truck belongs to?
Me: Nope, I never saw it before...
G: It sure is a nice truck. I wonder if it belongs to the lady with the red car....
The "Watch" resumes.
A short while later, she asked me:
G: Where are you folks living now?
Me: What?
G: Where are you two living?
Me: We live here Mom... we were just on vacation in Arizona.
G: I know that, but where are you going to be living now?
I feel my tan fading...
The next day we had CeCe's "boy" friend over after church. After lunch, they decided to go to the movie matinee ... as they went out the door, Grandma asked the grandson, "Is CeCe married?" There are shocked looks and stifled laughter from the daughter-in-law.
Son: CeCe? Married?
G: Yes. Is she?
Son: Grandma - she's 15.
G: That's right.
I say a silent prayer of thanksgiving that I'm in the kitchen and only listening from a distance.
I wonder who's staying in Room 108 of our hotel in Mesa?
Last night she was a little distressed that with Ruby gone, she'd be "alone" in the basement.
G: Where are the other tenants?
DH: There are no other tenants.... just you, and you're not a tenant, you live here.
G: Well there were other tenants...
Me: Ruby was here for several days, but we're back now... and she went home.
G: I'm all by myself? I don't think I like that.
I miss the pool ...
The Gospel Hour is almost over. Grandma has told me she knows a lot of these people. "On TV?" I ask.
G: Yes, I know a lot of them. That guy... I know him. I can't think of his name.
Me: Bill Gaither? You know him?
G: Yes I do.
Me: Where do you know them from?
G: Oh, different places. And him... I know him! (Jake Hess)
Me: Really...
G: And that heavy lady... I've known her for a long time (Vestal Goodman)
To my knowledge, Grandma has never met any of them (although she did meet Jim Nabors once.)
By the time George Beverly Shea came on the screen singing "How Great Thou Art" from a Billy Graham crusade - Grandma was singing along. The camera shot changes to a 92 year old Shea singing the next verse of the song a key or two lower.
G: Now who's that?
Me: George Beverly Shea ... it's the same guy.
G: Man, he's old now.
I wonder to myself - Do I tell her he's actually 101 now or ask if she's seen Jim Nabors lately?
Oh well - it's good to be home.
So ends Episode 26.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Episode 25 - 25 Observations
Cinco de Mayo ... the 5th of May ... It's been three months today since Grandma moved in with our family. DH and I are enjoying the week on respite vacation in Mesa, AZ. Knowing this milestone episode would be coming up, I've been compiling observations the past couple weeks... of some of the things I have learned, having Grandma with us.
1. Remote controls and cordless phones DO look a lot alike.
2. Older people can get away with saying what they really think.
3. My mom likes to write her name on everything she owns with indelible marker.
4. Goodwill won’t take anything with a name written on it.
5. It doesn’t matter how old a woman you are, a fresh hairdo makes you feel better.
6. Lawrence Welk sounds much better while having a glass of wine.
7. Recording musical programs on PBS is a good investment with great returns.
8. Everyone needs to have purpose.
9. Dogs gravitate to humans who will feed them whenever food is being served.
10. There are many similarities between pre-schoolers and the aged.
11. Toddlers can make most anyone smile.
12. A two-minute phone call from a loved one can make someone’s entire day.
13. I could win a lot of money on a game show.
14. Energy and abilities may wane … work ethic remains
15. I make the best salads Grandma has ever had!
16. I know where I got my stubborn streak
17. You can take the Grandma out of the senior complex… you can’t take the senior complex out of the Grandma.
18. My generation has grown accustom (and desensitized) to much of what we see on television
19. Grandma rubber bands everything.
20. Taking your mother into your home does not qualify you for sainthood, but taking in your mother-in-law, may.
21. Grandma can “Neighborhood Watch” our entire street all by herself.
22. Baby monitors are wonderful inventions. Wish I’d had one when my kids were babies.
23. Grandama is much less intimidating to DH than the rest of us... we've decided because he never knew her in her prime.
24. The Golden Rule should be followed to the letter when dealing with the elderly. We will all (hopefully) be 'old' ourselves someday.
25. All caretakers need respite - I'm grateful for DH and my time away!
So ends Episode 25.
1. Remote controls and cordless phones DO look a lot alike.
2. Older people can get away with saying what they really think.
3. My mom likes to write her name on everything she owns with indelible marker.
4. Goodwill won’t take anything with a name written on it.
5. It doesn’t matter how old a woman you are, a fresh hairdo makes you feel better.
6. Lawrence Welk sounds much better while having a glass of wine.
7. Recording musical programs on PBS is a good investment with great returns.
8. Everyone needs to have purpose.
9. Dogs gravitate to humans who will feed them whenever food is being served.
10. There are many similarities between pre-schoolers and the aged.
11. Toddlers can make most anyone smile.
12. A two-minute phone call from a loved one can make someone’s entire day.
13. I could win a lot of money on a game show.
14. Energy and abilities may wane … work ethic remains
15. I make the best salads Grandma has ever had!
16. I know where I got my stubborn streak
17. You can take the Grandma out of the senior complex… you can’t take the senior complex out of the Grandma.
18. My generation has grown accustom (and desensitized) to much of what we see on television
19. Grandma rubber bands everything.
20. Taking your mother into your home does not qualify you for sainthood, but taking in your mother-in-law, may.
21. Grandma can “Neighborhood Watch” our entire street all by herself.
22. Baby monitors are wonderful inventions. Wish I’d had one when my kids were babies.
23. Grandama is much less intimidating to DH than the rest of us... we've decided because he never knew her in her prime.
24. The Golden Rule should be followed to the letter when dealing with the elderly. We will all (hopefully) be 'old' ourselves someday.
25. All caretakers need respite - I'm grateful for DH and my time away!
So ends Episode 25.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Episode 24 - 50 Ways to Leave Your Mother....
Today's episode finds NanaMama and DH preparing to go on a respite vacation to sunny Arizona. Actually, Iowa is beautiful right now - but we are anticipating the getaway, relaxation and respite from what we've come to know as "Normal".
Friday afternoon, the list of things to do before we go, numbered 52... it now stands at 5. It's been an excruciatingly busy day and a half, not the least of which was getting things in order for Grandma. We have her friend Ruby coming to stay, I have meals made and put in the freezer, an itinerary printed and distributed to everyone involved, one of our sons lined up to stop by, call, etc. It's exhausting, but worth it to spend one glorious week doing nothing and taking care of no one.
As I was creating my 'to do' list ... a song kept going through my head... an oldie from 1975 by Paul Simon. I took some liberties with Mr. Simon's familiar lyrics to 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (printed below)
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
So my therapy has taken a musical twist ...and I present it now for your entertainment:
50 Ways to Leave your Mother
Buy tickets cheap, peeps
Book car and a room… Vroom!
Pack your suitcase, Ace
We’ll set ourselves free!
Call for a Grandma Sitter
And backup in case she’s a quitter
Tell ‘em “See Ya!” at work (Perk!)
We’ll set ourselves free!
Set up the meds, Fred
Make a paper plan, man
Freeze up some sealed meals,
We’ll set ourselves free!
Call on your Son, (done!)
Give CeCe a phone- moan!
Post rules on the Pets, (threats)
We’ll set ourselves free!
Drive away from the house, spouse.
Get on the jet, Let’s!
Up up and away – Pray!
We’ll get ourselves free!
So ends Episode 24.
Friday afternoon, the list of things to do before we go, numbered 52... it now stands at 5. It's been an excruciatingly busy day and a half, not the least of which was getting things in order for Grandma. We have her friend Ruby coming to stay, I have meals made and put in the freezer, an itinerary printed and distributed to everyone involved, one of our sons lined up to stop by, call, etc. It's exhausting, but worth it to spend one glorious week doing nothing and taking care of no one.
As I was creating my 'to do' list ... a song kept going through my head... an oldie from 1975 by Paul Simon. I took some liberties with Mr. Simon's familiar lyrics to 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (printed below)
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
So my therapy has taken a musical twist ...and I present it now for your entertainment:
50 Ways to Leave your Mother
Buy tickets cheap, peeps
Book car and a room… Vroom!
Pack your suitcase, Ace
We’ll set ourselves free!
Call for a Grandma Sitter
And backup in case she’s a quitter
Tell ‘em “See Ya!” at work (Perk!)
We’ll set ourselves free!
Set up the meds, Fred
Make a paper plan, man
Freeze up some sealed meals,
We’ll set ourselves free!
Call on your Son, (done!)
Give CeCe a phone- moan!
Post rules on the Pets, (threats)
We’ll set ourselves free!
Drive away from the house, spouse.
Get on the jet, Let’s!
Up up and away – Pray!
We’ll get ourselves free!
So ends Episode 24.
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