Episode 40 - Mail Call

I'm happy to report my foot is healing nicely.  The stitches are out and I'm in a regular shoe again.  I believe my recovery and rapid return to work was spurred on by Grandma... a bit of holistic healing so to speak (though not necessarily "non-invasive").

DH and I have found that a short period of solitude upon first arriving home from work helps the mindset for the evening.  Going straight from hours in the the work setting to hours in the Grandma setting without a break is difficult.  Even a thirty minute span of mental offload is a good investment in a more family-friendly dinner hour and evening.

Last night as DH and I were in the post work/pre-Grandma setting, the phone rang.  DH picked up the extension and checked the caller ID noting a toll free number.  He disconnected.  Noticing the handset still displayed TALK, he re-engaged.

G:  Hello. Hello.

"I'm sorry, your call did not go through. Would you please try your call again?"

G:  I wasn't making a call

"I'm sorry, your call did not go through. Would you please try your call again?"

G: Thank you.... Goodbye.

DH and I stifle laughter.  Nothing like a little tele-humor to aid in the unwinding process.

In the past week or so - DH has also signed us up for "Message Manager" through our local phone carrier.  This call tracker notifies both of us via email, every time a call goes out or comes in to our home phone.  It can also be a source of entertainment as we see a number pop up in our email that looks vaguely familiar, followed by another similar number - and then one of our phones rings.  Most of her calls are to or from Ruby.  When a number appears we can't identify, we do a reverse look-up.  Another helpful tool in monitoring Grandma while we are away.

One of Grandma's favorite 'chores' is to get the mail.  When the dogs signal the postman has been here, Grandma fetches the contents of the mailbox and neatly piles it in individual stacks on the kitchen counter... DH, NM, CeCe ... her mail however, she keeps by her chair to "go over."  Most often, if she questions something - she'll ask one of us what it is about.

G:  I want you to look at this. 

DH:  What is it?

G:  It's my mail.  It says it can lower my interest rates on my credit card.

DH: You don't have a credit card.

G: Then why would they send this to me?

DH:  They want you to sign up for one.

G:  Do you think we should?

DH: No

G:  Should I send it back and write "No" on it?

DH: No (ripping it in half and throwing it in the recycle bin)

G;  I don't think you should have done that.

Over the weekend Grandma took some of her mail "upstairs" to her basement apartment.  On a hunch, DH did a quick search and found her dentist bill.

DH:  You can't take mail to the basement until we've seen it.

G:  I thought you'd seen it.

DH:  No, you need to leave ALL the mail on the counter until we've looked through it.  This bill won't get paid if we don't get it.  We pay your bills.

G:  What about this?  (revealing another envelope)

DH: That's just an EOB from your insurance.  It explains the benefits they've paid for you.  You get one every month.  Just file it.

Sounds so simple doesn't it?  "Just file it."  Grandma has multiple plastic file holders filled with years of monthly reports.  But this time, she's not having it.  The next morning, before I leave for work, the subject is revisited.

G:  Who can we get to look at this?

NM: At what?

G:  This... (displaying the EOB)

NM: DH told you to file that.

G:  I can't file it ... we need to have a lawyer look at it.

NM: No we don't... you get one every month. DH told you to file it ... or you can throw it away.

G:  I am NOT going to throw it away.

NM: Then file it.  But we are NOT calling a lawyer to look at your EOB.

A couple hours later at work, the Message Manager informs me my office phone is about to ring.

NM: Hello.

G:  Hi... it's me. So do you know anyone who can explain this paper to me?

NM: I did explain it Mom.  They paid money toward your doctors and medicines. They have to report that back to you ... that's all.

G: I just don't understand it.

NM: And you don't have to... we take care of that stuff for you. You can ask DH about it again if you want, but he'll just tell you to file it.

G:  ... or he'll rip it up.

It's amazing how much time and energy can be wasted on snail mail.  In this cyber age of electronic delivery, e-statements and the like, it seems such a waste.  DH thinks we should get her a PO Box to eliminate the problem.... or a locked mailbox for the side of our house.  Maybe we should check with a lawyer to get his opinion....

So ends Episode 40

Episode 39 - Nothing like a little bed rest

I try to blog on Sundays.  It is a bit of therapy before the beginning of another week.  I missed last Sunday.  The pressure of life was too much to be tranquilized by a dose of blog and in layman's terms: I was so tense, you could open a pop bottle with my butt cheeks.  Stress comes and stress goes.  This round has passed, leaving me with only a zit on my chin - I believe my first in more than 20 years.

I had surgery this week on my foot.  I write this as I recuperate ... reclined in my bed on the second floor of our home.  Grandma doesn't venture to the "upper" region except for shower time.  She refers to her basement apartment as "upstairs" ... to which we've become accustomed. 

When DH brought me home from my outpatient surgery on my right foot, he lovingly delivered me to my recliner - got me an ice pack, snack, beverage and eventually supper.  The pain was bearable as the doctor had given me some long term numbing shots.  Grandma was sympathetic and allowed me to use one of her canes to assist in my trips to the bathroom.  During my first six hours of home recovery, any attempt to sleep was thwarted by Grandma's repeated call of my name.  I decided Day 2 might be better spent in the solitude of my bedroom.

Day 2 - DH brought me coffee (my first cup in 2 days) and then breakfast before he left for work. I was happily positioned in my bed with my foot propped, ankle iced...laptop, cell phone, land line extension and remote control all within reach.  It was wonderful.... peaceful... everything a recovering patient could ask for.

A little before 11:00 - a friend called to see how I was doing.  We chatted a few minutes before a familiar voice joined the conversation.

G:  Who is this?

Me:  Mom, I'm on the phone.

G:  Who is this?

Me:  Mom... it's me.

G:  Where are you?

Me: I'm upstairs in my bedroom. I'm on the phone talking to Sharon... hang up please.

G:  I didn't know you were here.

Me: I had surgery ... remember?  I can't walk very well. I'm talking to Sharon, hang up.

G:  You're on my phone.

Me: It's the house phone - there's only one. Just hang up.  (I can hear Sharon giggling in the background).

I halt Grandma's next comment by continuing my conversation with Sharon.  I sincerely doubt she hung up - but probably enjoyed eavesdropping on the remainder of my conversation.  Note to self: Use cell phone.

Cece had made some brownies to take on a beach trip with her volleyball teammates and I made a trip to the kitchen to help her cut them as well as get my lunch.  I got fresh ice and Cece helped me back to my bed with my lunch and beverage glass.... and then she and her brownies were off to the beach.

G:  Are you up there?

Me:  Yes.

G:  Where are you?

Me: In my bed.  (Grandma appears in the doorway)

G:  There's a mess in the kitchen.

Me: I know... I could only do so much standing on one foot.

G:  I think she made a cake.

Me:  She made brownies ... but I made the mess. I'm sorry.

G: You didn't leave egg shells out did you?

Me:  Yes I did.  I had a hard boiled egg on my salad and I left the shells on the island.  Don't worry about it.  We can get it later.

G:  Well I can clean it up... I just thought you should know it was a mess.

A short while later... I hear Grandma coming up the stairs...

G:  You still there?

Me:  Yes

G:  What about this? Do you think it can go down the garbage disposal?  (She is holding the core of a head of lettuce which I had thrown in the sink but failed to push down the drain).

Me: Yes... it's fine.

G:  I just thought I should check.  I can cut it up if you think I should.

Me: No, it will be fine.

Minutes later...

G:  Me again....

Me:  Yeah?

G:  Should I wash this?  (Now she is holding a fairly heavy, handled wok which we keep in the oven when not in use and Cece had removed to make her brownies.)

Me: No.  It's not dirty.

G: It looks dirty.

Me: No, it's just worn.  You don't need to wash it.

G: Well I can.

Me: But you don't need to.  Just put it back in the oven.

Again...

G:  Hello?

Me:  What do you want?

G:  Am I going to have music this afternoon?  Ruby is coming up and we wanted to listen to music.  Can you get music or not?

Me:  I can get music.  (I grab the second remote from the nightstand, grateful that DH has our house wired for convenience and tune The Gaithers in on the living room TV)  There you go.  Better go down cuz it's starting.

G:  She's not here yet.  She's walking.  Sometimes she drives, but today she's walking.

Ruby arrives and for the next two hours I enjoy 120 minutes of quiet solitude, interrupted only by the need to re-tune a Gospel program to the living room TV.

G:  Are you awake?

Me: Yes (would it make a difference?)

G:  She's gone now.  It's hot outside.

Excuse the lack of dialogue here - but Grandma proceeds to tell me about the dogs.  In the greatest of detail, their every move... I try to block it out.  My foot is beginning to hurt.  I've not been taking pain medicine because it hadn't been hurting.  I'm ready to turn in my medal for heroism.

Me:  If you go downstairs I'll get you more music...

G:  Oh I love that music..... Do you want me to get you anything?

Me:  No, I'm fine.  DH will be home soon - he's bringing Belle.

G:  Oh good.  (she returns to the living room... I put on more music)

DH and Belle arrived home shortly after Cece returned from the beach.  They asked how my day had gone. 

Me:  I think I need the drugs.

Although my recovery is estimated at 10 days... I'm hoping to be back to work on Monday.  The fact that my building has no passenger elevator and my office is located on the third floor will not deter me.  The only restroom is located on the ground level - but I can refrain from liquids if necessary.  There's a power lift machine being used on a project at the building next to mine... perhaps they can give me a ride up to a third floor window. 

Day 3 - Coffee/check.  Breakfast/check.  Pain medicine/check.  Locked my bedroom door/check.

So ends Episode 39

Episode 38 - There's a missing piece of the puzzle.

We've had a busy weekend.  CeCe wanted her room painted and I wanted DH to put a support bracket under the clothes rod, in my laundry room closet.  Yesterday was a madhouse as I emptied the closet of a 150 pounds of coats (thus the need for the support bracket).  I of course, got carried away and pretty much emptied the entire room out into the garage, kitchen and dining area. CeCe purchased the paint she had picked out at Ace Hardware and recruited friends to help her paint.  DH installed my bracket and then enlisted my help in trimming the room with CeCe's lovely shade of Pepto Bismol paint before the kids used the rollers.  We also had our 2 year old granddaughter, Baby Belle spending the day and night.  Much of our work was accomplished while Belle was napping. Unfortunately, I was too tired (or thought I was) to put everything away... thus our cars stayed outside of the garage last night. Since CeCe's room had a strong smell of paint, she slept in the living room (and all of her "stuff" remained scattered throughout the upstairs).

Morning came and the craze continued.  DH prepared pancakes and watched Belle while I gave Grandma a shower and got her ready for church.  She has been able to go back to her church the past two or three months, thanks to their transportation ministry.  Each week one of three couples picks her up about 9:15 and returns her safely shortly after 11:00.  Her spirits soar after attending the worship services there, seeing so many people she's known for years and even meeting new people.  She finds her place (fourth row down on the right side) and enjoys every minute.  She loves the pastor.  She loves the music, She loves the people.

Grandma ate her pancakes while I finished getting ready for church.  Belle was objecting to her pancakes and CeCe was trying to find her things (not easy when your room is torn apart).   I got Grandma's offering envelope prepared and put in her purse... we loaded Belle and her bags into the car,  and drove out of the driveway.  It was 8:30.  First service was beginning and we were 11 minutes away.  For all we had going on, it wasn't too bad.

During our service I heard my phone vibrate and looked down to see it was "Home" calling.  I immediately realized I had not told Grandma "who" would be picking her up today.  When I call for her ride each Saturday, they usually tell me who will be driving, but they weren't sure this week.  Grandma hadn't asked... but I was guessing she was asking now.  I ignored the call, not wanting to leave the service (and knowing her ride would be there in 15 minutes.).

When our service was over, DH and I made a few stops and dropped  Belle off to her parents. By the time we got back to the church to pick CeCe up after Sunday School, I knew Grandma should be home.  I wasn't looking forward to  what else waited for me there.  Two rooms in total disarray and a garage we couldn't get our cars into.

As predicted, Grandma was home when we got there.  We asked her how church was and she said:

G:  Oh, it was wonderful.  It always is.

DH:  That's good.

Me:  Who drove you today? 

G:  Mr. and Mrs. G. brought me home.  I don't know who took me.  They took me to the wrong church first.

DH:  What?

G:  They took me to the church here in town... but I got a ride over to my church (2 miles away).

Me:  Mom... None of those people would take you to the wrong church.

G:  Well I wouldn't have thought so either but they did.

DH:  (to NM) You'd better call and check this out.

Me:  (to DH)  I am not calling them and asking if they took her to the wrong church....

(to Grandma)  Mom... I think you've gotten things mixed up.

G:  Silence.

I proceed to get my laundry room put back together and the kitchen and dining area back to normal.  As I made another trip to the garage - our neighbor, Moe pulls through our shared driveway and stops his car.  I walked out to chat with him.

Moe:  We took your mother to church today.

Me:  You what?

Moe:  We took your mother to church.  We were getting ready to go ourselves and she was outside here walking around.  She asked if I knew the phone number to the Methodist Church.  Someone was supposed to pick her up but she didn't know who.  I told her to get in, we'd be happy to take her.

Me:  Oh my gosh....

Moe:  Was that OK?  I walked her in through two sets of doors. Then we went on to church ourselves.

Me:  Oh my gosh... she really did go to the church here in town. 

I thanked Moe and told him I'd talk to him later.  I went back inside the house.

Me:  Mom, I just talked to Moe.  He said he and Sarah took you to church today.

G:  So that's who it was!

Me:  And then someone from the church here in town took you to Lisbon?

G:  Yes, but I don't know who it was.  When I got in there, I told them, "I'm in the wrong place."  Some lady talked to me and told her husband to get his car.  I told them I didn't want to put them to the trouble but they said it was fine. 

Me:  Gee... so you really did go to the other church.

G:  I told you I did.

Me:  I know, but I didn't believe you. 

About that time, the phone rang and it was Mrs. F. (the woman in charge of the transport ministry from Mom's church).  I went outside to take the call.  Poor Mrs. F. was at a loss as to how Grandma had  gotten to the other church.  She said Mr. and Mrs. G. had gotten to the house, but Mother was nowhere to be found (she is usually outside waiting).  Mrs. G. went up and rang the bell several times and then even went inside.  At this point, all I can think of, is the condition of my house.  I mean, I'd never get any blue ribbons for housekeeping, but today's version had to look like I was ready for a hoarder intervention.

G:  Uh, I'm sorry... you were saying.

Mrs.F:  Just that Mrs. G came into church as white as could be.  She was very upset that they couldn't find your Mother.

I told Mrs. F.  I was sorry that Mom had caused Mrs. G.'s uneasiness ... I was quite sure she had flown the coop before 9:15.  We've always told her to "be ready" at 9:15, that the ride would be there between then and 9:25, but 'Grandma time' is not necessarily Greenwich Mean Time.  Mrs. F. was happy to know why Grandma was AWOL and I was happy to know they'd continue to take her in the future. 

The piece from the puzzle still missing is "who took Grandma from the one church to the other."  Maybe we'll find out... maybe we'll never know.  Grandma may forget her visit to the other church in another day or two.  I can only hope Mrs. G. can forget what the inside of our house looked like today!

So ends Episode 38