Episode 66 - Period of adjustment

It has now been two weeks since Grandma went to the care center.  I try to call her twice a day and we go visit two or three times a week.

Last Sunday, DH and I took both Sammy and Ginger to see her.  We were met with many smiles as we paraded in with the two pooches.  Grandma was not in the dining room when we arrived, but we made a loop to allow the residents a gratuitous pat on each dog's head.  As we started down the East wing, we saw Grandma come out of her room.  She turned her wheeled walker (her 'pusher') toward us and eyed the dogs... then let out a yell, threw up her hands and the pusher shot out in front of her.  I'd say she was glad to see them.  I'm happy to also report, they were on their best behavior.

Grandma still has some confusion regarding her living arrangements.  Each time we talk, she thinks she is "going home" the following day.  I tell her:

Me:  You are home Mom.  This is where you live now.

G:  So I'll stay here again tonight?

Me:  Yes.  And tomorrow night too.

G:  Did you hear that Ethel?  I'm going to be here tomorrow.

It takes time to get adjusted. 

The roommate situation couldn't be better.  Grandma and Ethel have hit it off very well.  When Harriett is added to the mix, we have a new generation of Golden Girls.  (Well, maybe it's the same generation... but these girls are still alive).  Out in the hallway, as Harriett and her walker approached Grandma and her pusher, Harriett sided up - bumped the other walker, wiggled her hips and said 'chica chica chica'.  Grandma responded in kind.  Then they laughed.

One evening while I was visiting, Grandma and Ethel were waiting to go to supper. Ethel was fiddling with something on her wheelchair.  Frustrated, she stopped abruptly and said, "This is as worthless as tits on a boar."

G:  What? You need a board? (Silence)

G:  (to me)  What did she say?

Me:  She said it was as worthless as tits on a boar.

Grandma gasps.

Ethel instantly recants, "I did not!  I didn't say that!"  (Give me a break Ethel... I heard you ... but I remain silent)  Grandma looks at me accusingly for having suggested Ethel said such a thing.  I want to defend my hearing as well as tell them it isn't even a true statement.  Having spent a few years around the hog industry, I know for a fact that "teets" on a boar can be passed down to the piggies they sire... so are not worthless... but far be it for me to go into a livestock lesson with Rose and Sophia.

DH and I were visiting with the roomies one night this week when the subject turned to the weather.  

Me:  It is so cold outside.... you don't realize it when you see the sun shining but when you step outside, you sure know it.

Ethel:  You think this is cold?  If we were in Iowa, it'd be 10 or 12 below.

Me:  Ethel... this is Iowa...

And in the same visit - Grandma introduced us to Ethel (again):

G:  This is my daughter and this (pointing to DH) is our husband. 

Yup... a roommate match made in heaven.

Care centers are required to call family whenever the doctors make changes in medications.  I've had two voice mails from nurses asking me to call them back.  My stomach is always in knots as I return the call.  I think I have flashbacks to the school principal calling me regarding my boys.  I fear Grandma is in trouble (if not causing it).  I suppose I'll eventually get used to hearing from them and not be alarmed. 

It takes time to get adjusted.

So ends Episode 66

Episode 65 - Groundhog Day

At one time, I thought Episode 64 would be the end of Life with NanaMama's Mama.  Grandma no longer lives with us... the essence of my blog is over - but our life with her, is not.  The Occupational Therapist (Episode 63) and I talked about my blog.  I told her it was a coping mechanism for me - she said she was sure it was (or would be) a help to others as well.  What more could I ask?  So until we read Grandma's obituary, or NanaMama's ... the blog continues.

It has been a week since Grandma moved to the Care Center (room E3).  I have seen her three times since last Wednesday.  I went down the day after her admission and visited her.  Ethel was once again, happy to "meet me" and the two of them together, made me think of another Ethel and her friend Lucy.  Grandma told me about a toilet overflowing that morning (it was down the hall) and how she (thought) she saw water all over their floor.  She got out of her chair to demonstrate, pointing to the floor where the supposed water had been.  I looked at the shiny linoleum and broke the news to Grandma that she was merely looking at the sheen of a finely polished floor.  Granted, she had not seen anything remotely as clean at our house... but the 'glossy' finish did have a 'wet' look to it.

On Saturday, DH and I went down to visit again, along with Belle and her parents.  Belle's Daddy had loaded Grandma's glider chair into their SUV.  She was happy to have it, as well as to see all of us.  I greeted Ethel as we walked into E3. 

Me:  Hi Ethel!  How are you today?

Ethel:  How do you know my name?

Uh oh... another short term memory issue with Ethel.  I would explain that this is the fourth time we've met... but it would likely be forgotten soon anyway.  We had a nice visit with Grandma, but having five of us visit was almost overwhelming.  She commented about the sweatshirt she was wearing... she didn't think it was hers, but it had her name in it.  Did I know anything about that?  I assured her the shirt was indeed hers... and had been a Christmas gift.  She seemed relieved, as a couple other ladies evidently had their eye on it.

I call Grandma a couple times each day.  She's usually a bit confused about what day I'm coming to visit next.  I try to write it down on her notepad so she can remember it.  Occasionally, she calls me.  OK... 'frequently' she calls me.  She sounds a little more confused but then I realize that she was "more confused" when she first came to live with us.  There's always a period of adjustment.  I did notice she started calling Ethel: "Lavonne".  When I corrected her, she paid no attention, but continued to call her Lavonne.  When I called her out on the error in names again, she merely said, "Oh whatever."

DH and I went to see Grandma after work this afternoon.  We found her sitting in the dining room, at her table, with Harriett.  We pulled up chairs and visited with the two of them.  Grandma left the table, I could tell, on a mission.  She caught up with an aide to tell her we'd be staying for supper.  I caught up with them both, to say we wouldn't.

Harriett asked if we were having dinner with them.

Me:  No, we'll go home and eat. 

H:  Really?  How far do you live from here?

Me:  Oh, about ten minutes.

H:  I thought you lived out west.

Me:  We are west of here.  Did you mean western Iowa or way out west?

H:  Way out west, but I must have you confused with someone else.

Our conversation continued.  We talked about the blizzard we'd had this week, the birds in the glass house and what neither of them could remember they'd had for lunch. Grandma could remember: mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots and gravy.... and something else.  She was elated to have gotten chocolate milk (her favorite beverage).  Harriett remembered none of it, saying she's just glad she doesn't have to cook it and is happy to simply eat it.

Harriett again asks if we'll be staying for supper.

Me:  No, we'll go home and eat. 

H:  (looking surprised) How far do you live from here?

Me:  Just about ten minutes.  (I turn to look at a smiling DH)

H:  Hmmm, I thought you lived out west.

Me:  Western Iowa or way out west?

H:  (laughing) Way out west.

Me:  You must have me confused with someone else.

 Grandma asked me if she would be staying "here" again tonight.

Me:  Yes, this is where you are going to live.

G:  That's right.  This is our house isn't it Harriett?

H:  What?

G:  This place.  It's our house, right?

H:  Yes.  This is our house.

Happy Groundhog Day.

So ends Episode 65