Episode 52 - Attitude of Gratitude

The past four weeks... for the month of November, I've been posting daily, things I'm grateful for, on my Facebook status.  It's a good discipline to keep you mindful of the things in life (great and small) that truly make it better.  Today's "gratitude" is my Mother.  She has been living with us for the past ten months and though I'm not always thankful for that fact - I am always thankful for her.

Today, for this episode - I'm choosing to list the 30 things that I think Mom (Grandma) would be thankful for, were she to join my Facebook friends who are also listing their gratitudes.

1. FAMILY - Grandma is grateful to be living with us... even when she's mad at us - she's glad to be here with DH, CeCe and me.
2. GRANDCHILDREN - She adores her three grandsons and their wives.  She has embraced DH's sons and their families and she very much enjoys seeing the 'great grands'.
3. SAMMY - Truth be told... Grandma probably loves Sam, her faithful dog and companion of ten years more than the rest of us.  Paws down - he's her best friend.
4. RUBY - Grandma looks forward to Ruby's visits each weekday afternoon while we are at work. 
5. DRIVING MINISTRY - What a blessing to have a car come each Sunday to take Grandma to church services.  Since we attend a different church, it is wonderful to have her picked up and brought home.
6. CHURCH - Grandma was an active and vital member of her congregation for many years.  It does her good to attend weekly.  I'm grateful for my friends Sharon and VJ who make a point to sit with her.
7. NEWSPAPER - They say you miss a day, you miss a lot.  Grandma doesn't miss much when it comes to the news.  Whether it's world, national or local... she enjoys her paper (and it also helps her know what day of the week it is.)
8. HEALTH - Grandma enjoys relatively good physical health, aside from her osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis.
9. MEDICINE - The few issues she does have can be treated with affordable medicine.
10. CURLY SHOE LACES & ELASTIC WAISTBANDS - These things help Grandma be able to dress herself without assistance.
11. PUSHER - The  cane and wheeled walker (complete with seat and hand brakes) give Grandma help in getting about.  If she has her pusher and a clear path... (and permission to leave the property) she's like a kid with a skateboard!  #1 Rule - don't cross the street!
12. CHAIR & WINDOW - Grandma loves her glider in the living room, situated next to the window where she can keep an eye on things inside the house and out.
13. LAWN CHAIRS - Nothing like sitting in the shade on a beautiful day, watching the world go by.
14. LITTLE BOYS NEXT DOOR - Although she keeps tabs on much of the neighborhood... she's particularly fond of watching the three little boys next door to us.  I think they remind her of her grandsons when they were small.
15. SPACE HEATER - Grandma loves a nice toasty 80 degree room.  Enough said.
16. SHOWER TIME - I'm not sure she'd list this in her gratitudes (at least not before she was midway through her shower) but she always enjoys having her back washed, head shampooed and hair styled.
17. TELEPHONE CALLS - Grandma loves phone calls.  She's been known to carry on conversations with telemarketers, people calling to remind us of medical appointments and even prerecorded political calls.  She prefers calls from people she knows, but will make do with whatever she can get.
18. PAPERS - It probably comes from years of record keeping and bookwork, but Grandma loves her papers.  Her phone list, funeral file... even her junk mail which she considers "opportunities we merely choose not to take advantage of."
19. MEALS ON WHEELS - Since Grandma isn't supposed to cook, we are very grateful for the MoW program and the volunteers who deliver warm nutritious meals on days when we are at work.
20. HOME COOKING - Although I'm far from a gourmet cook... what I do make is usually a step up from a pot pie or TV Dinner.   Grandma appreciates the meals we prepare for her.  DH cooks many of them and she seldom fails to thank both of us for our efforts.
21. COOKIES - I don't bake much but fortunately Grandma loves store bought cookies.  She is just as happy with a bag of frosted oatmeal or Chips Ahoy... and is a little possessive of them.  Her prerogative, I guess.
22. RUBBER BANDS - My goodness - the value Grandma places on these elastic wonders is incredible.  She has never thrown one away, but rather choose to wrap them around nearby objects such as the remote control, tissue boxes, pill bottles, file folders, etc.  Rubber bands are second only to clothespins when dealing with things that need to be "kept together".
23. WORK ETHIC - Grandma has never lacked for drive and ambition.  She not only takes pride in a job done correctly, but satisfaction, as well.  We sometimes find it maddening when she tires herself doing a task we have not asked her to do... but we know there's little use in stopping her.  I simply pray this legacy of work ethic subsides in me, before I am her age.  I like to think I will be able to slack off someday.
24. MUSIC - Can best be described as a non-narcotic tranquilizer.  She can be sad, mad or lonely... but a 60 minute dose of music puts her on the Happy Trail.
25. IPTV - God bless Iowa Public Television, who airs two and a half hours of music each Saturday evening for us to record for Grandma.
26. DVR - Now Grandma doesn't know what those letters stand for... but she knows that "they" (that would be us) can get her music from there anytime and from anyplace!
27. GAITHERS - Although she enjoys Lawrence Welk and a little Guy Lombardo... there's no music like Gaither Gospel Music.  She feels like she knows them.  (She actually thinks she knows them... "feels" just sounds better).
28. ALL GAITHER ALL THE TIME - Thanks to a friend loaning us her collection of Gaither videos, DH put them on a 6.5 hour DVD and set it in a loop on the television in her apartment living room. 
29. PHOTOS - Grandma enjoys looking at pictures from times gone by.  She doesn't always remember the people in them... but she definitely recalls some of the occasions when they were taken.
30. MEMORIES - Although age has robbed Grandma's mind of many things... she treasures the memories she has held fast to.  Sometimes she has even embellished them... and stories I've heard for years suddenly have new twists.  No matter - they give her what she needs - happiness and comfort.

We can all find comfort in being grateful... in counting our blessings and realizing the scale usually tips in our favor.  Having Grandma live with us these past ten months has sometimes been stressful.  Sometimes it has been inconvenient... but it has always been a blessing. We may not be immediately grateful for every situation we encounter, but we are always grateful for her.

As this season of Thanksgiving turns to Christmas and then to the New Year, I hope we remember that though we can't change people or circumstances, we can choose to look at them with eyes of gratitude.... and ultimately, our attitude is sometimes all we can ever really change.

So ends Episode 52

Episode 51 - Know Sweats

We have been blessed this Fall with unseasonably warm weather.  Grandma has enjoyed the warm autumn days and the opportunity to sweep leaves off the porch and deck.  We don't encourage this activity, but she does it when we aren't around... then reports it to us, proudly. 

Me:  Mom, you really don't need to sweep the leaves

DH:  We just wait until the trees are bare and get them all at once.

G:  I think it looks better.

Me:  Yeah, it looks very nice - and we appreciate your efforts, but it's not worth the pain you end up with afterwards.

G:  My arm does hurt... so does my hip.

DH:  Exactly.  The sweeping just aggravates it. Our lawn mower mulches the leaves up.  You don't need to sweep.

G:  No one else seems to be doing it.

As the weather turned colder a couple weeks ago, I noticed Grandma had been wearing a favorite green and white plaid top with her slacks.  It's long sleeved and though some type of polyester, a fairly heavy knit.  This shirt has been a mainstay in Grandma's winter wardrobe for the past twenty years.  It had belonged to her best friend who died in 1989.  She's been wearing it ever since.... a lot.  Grandma is very content to wear the same shirt and slacks all week and I'm content to let her.  As long as I see several pairs of her underwear go through the laundry... I'm good.  I've had a little trouble getting the green and white shirt off her back and into the wash though. 

Me:  I think it's time to wash your top Mom.

G:  Did I spill something on it?

Me:  No, but I'm doing a load of knits.  I want to throw it in.

G:  (Reluctantly) .... OK.

I used to have a couple pairs of sweat pants.  I seldom wore them to 'sweat' (work out) but they were nice for lounging around.  Whatever sweats I did have in my wardrobe have been quietly absorbed into CeCe's drawers (who DOES work out).  This is after she cuts slits in the pant 'cuffs' which renders them useless in my opinion.  A few weeks ago, I treated myself to a brand new pair of black sweat pants, a $6 purchase at Walmart.  When we finally broke down and turned on the furnace (we'd had Grandma's space heaters on previously) I found myself sweating in this heavy duty fleece, just sitting in the living room.  It then occurred to me that the sweat pants might be a good addition to Grandma's winter wardrobe.  One Sunday afternoon, as I was folding laundry and came to the black sweats, I commented to Grandma.

Me:  I'm going to leave these sweat pants out for you to try on.

G:  Why?

Me:  Well, they're mine, but they are really warm and I'm thinking of picking a pair up for you.  If you try them on, you can let me know how they fit.

G:  Do I have to do it now?

Me:  No ... just whenever.

DH and I had to take CeCe to Youth Group later that afternoon, and when we returned - there was Grandma, happy as a clam... a clam in black sweat pants.... (and her green and white top).

G:  Look!  They fit... and are they ever warm!

Me:  That's good to know.

G:  And they have pockets.

Me:  I know - handy, huh?

G:  They're a little long... I have to roll the bottoms.

Me:  No you don't.  There's elastic in the hem.  They're supposed to be long... you don't need to roll them, cuz they aren't going anywhere.

Let me rephrase the "they aren't going anywhere" part.  That was the last I saw of my twice worn, once washed sweat pants.  I really didn't have the need or opportunity to wear them for a week or more, so I didn't notice their absence from my closet. 

On our next trip to Walmart, DH and I picked up three more pair of sweat pants for Grandma.  We even bought some matching long sleeved t-shirts and zippered hoodies to create ensembles.  The next morning, she was delighted with her new clothes.

Me:  You'd better try the shirts and hoodies on, to be sure they are the right size.

G:  Do you think these colors match?

Me:  They're both brown... they match.

G:  Well, the shirt looks a little different shade.

Me:  They are both Fruit of the Loom.  They match.

G:  I think the pants are a tad darker...

Me:  They are different fabrics, but the same color.

G:  I guess it'll be alright. 

Me: *sigh*

G:  You said you have an iron, didn't you?

Me:  ....yes .... why?

G:  I think they need a crease ironed into them.  They have a nice one on the sides

Me:  We don't iron sweatpants.... like we don't iron underwear.

G:  What about the crease?

Me:  What about it?  After we wash them, the creases will all be gone.

G:  I used to have an iron.  I don't know where it is.

Throughout the weekend, Grandma admires the black, brown and navy blue fleece, which she has now placed on hangers. 

G:  Now, I could wear the black shirt with the brown pants... don't you think?

Me:  You can wear whatever you want Mom.

G:  I think I'll wear the black ones to church tomorrow.

Me:  No... you aren't wearing sweatpants to church tomorrow.

G:  I won't roll the pants.

Me: No... you aren't wearing sweatpants to church.... ever.  That's what your nice slacks are for.

G:  Can I at least wear the black slacks?

Me:  You betcha.

I eventually found my black sweatpants.... on a hanger in Grandma's room.  I left them there and took the new ones (tags attached and crease in place) up to my room.  One less argument to be had regarding the iron.

I haven't seen her wearing "Old (Green and White) Faithful" since she got her new clothes.  I'm sure she'll bring it out to wear for the Holidays, or to church with black slacks.  The whole thing has caused me to ponder the durability of this magical fabric that won't deteriorate.  I'll bet it's made out of the same stuff that makes diapers fail to decompose in the landfill.

So go ahead Mother Nature.... let the snow fly.  I'm sure it will soon enough - but Grandma, DH, CeCe and I will be toasty and warm in fortified, fashionable fleece!

So ends Episode 51

Episode 50 - Boobie Trapped

This was an eventful week for Grandma.  For a woman who likes to be on a schedule, she was elated to have two appointments on two consecutive days.  On Monday, she had a mammogram and Tuesday - she went to the polls to do her civic duty and cast her vote in the mid-term elections.

A year ago or so, Grandma's doctor and I discussed her health history and determined that unless there was cause for concern, we would forego preventive tests like mammograms and colonoscopies.  She has always passed with flying colors and some tests are physically wearing.  With that said... Grandma announced two weeks ago:  "I think I have a lump in my breast.  Do you want to feel it?"

DH:  I'm outta here.

Me:  Actually Mom, we see your doctor on Tuesday so why don't we let him check it out?

My mind took me back to my first mammogram when there was this little rubber boob in the waiting area.  There was a sign encouraging you to do a mock "self exam" and see if you could detect any lumps (ie: cysts).  I kneaded the little boob for a couple minutes and then sat down to wait my turn.  When I was called back the technician questioned me.

Tech:  Do you do self breast exams?

Me:  Well, not exactly.

Tech:  Did you see the breast replica in the waiting room?

Me:  Yes I did as a matter of fact.

Tech:  How many lumps did you find?
Me:  Actually none - it checked out fine.

Tech:  There were eight.

Me:  No way.... really?

So unless Mom's lump was the size of Jupiter ... I felt waiting for a professional was our best option.

Two days later we saw the doctor. He too found Grandma's lump and though he didn't think it was serious, he scheduled a mammogram.

Dr:  The mobile unit will be in town Monday, is that OK?

Me:  That will be fine.

Monday comes and Grandma calls me twice at work to be sure she has 'everything' right. 

Me:  Mom, it's on the whiteboard.  3:00.  I'll be there shortly after 2:45, just be ready.

G:    Well, I'm ready now so that won't be a problem.

Me:  You didn't use deodorant or perfume did you?

G:    Yes, why?

Me:  You're not supposed to do that... messes with their machines or something.  Take your shirt off and just wash.

G:    Well, that's going to take a while.

Me:  You have plenty of time.

At 3:00 we pull into the clinic parking lot where the "Mam-mobile" is parked.

G:  I want the doctor to look at these veins while we're here.

Me:  We aren't seeing the doctor today... we're just getting your mammogram, remember?

G:  Oh.  (As we get out of the car, she takes off toward the office building)

Me:  Mom!  We aren't going in there... it's over here.

Grandma turns around to see the mobile unit and gives me her "Well, I never..." look.  We rang the bell and the technician came out and assisted Grandma into the unit by way of a hydraulic platform.

Me:  That was pretty cool huh?  Just like Adventureland.

G:  I guess.  What do we do now?

Tech:  Take a seat over there.  We need some information and then I'll take you back here.

Grandma and I sat down next to the receptionist who proceeded to ask the normal series of questions.  I let Grandma answer unless she looked at me, unsure herself of the answer.  She was doing fine until:

Receptionist:  Are you married, widowed or divorced?

G:  I was married.... 

Receptionist:  You're married now?  (Grandma looks at me.)

G:  Yes

Me:  No Mom, you're not married....  You're uh... divorced.

G:  I am?  I didn't know that.

Me:  Well Dad died... and Dale died too... but not until after you were divorced.

G:  I knew he was dead, I didn't remember the divorce.

Me: (to receptionist)  Can you just put single?

The remainder of the questions were much easier.  After they were over, the receptionist explained that the results of the test would be sent to Grandma as well as to her doctor's office.

Receptionist:  If we find we need more pictures, we'll contact you within the next few days.

Grandma stared at her blankly.  She then turns to me:

G:  I don't think I have any pictures of my breasts. Do you?

Me:  No Mom - not photos... she means x-rays... if they need more x-rays.

G:  That's good...

Grandma went back with the technician and returned a short time later.

G:  That hurt.

Me:  Yeah, they have quite the vice grips huh?

G:  I hope I don't have to do that again.  (Me too, I thought.)

A couple days later, we got the call from the doctor's office that everything looked fine on the mammogram, which only goes to show that peace of mind is greater than the effort to get a Grand-mammogram!

The next day was Election Day.  In "her day" Grandma was a force to be reckoned with on the political front.  She was active in the Republican party and had her name on the ballot a few times, as well. 

Ring! (my office phone)

Me:  Hello?

G:  It's me.  When are we going to go vote?

Me:  Uh, when I get home from work?

G:  When will that be?

Me:  Same as always... 4:30 or so.

G:   OK.  I'll wait then.  I was pretty sure it was today.

I actually left work a bit early thinking we'd get to the polls and back ahead of the rush.

G:  Can we talk about this again?  I'm not sure I remember everyone's name.

Me:  It's OK.  I'll be with you.  Remember last time?  We sign a paper that allows me to sit with you while you vote.

G:  Well, let's do that again.

As soon as we walked into the polling place, Grandma was greeted by a woman she used to golf with years ago.  She was working at the sign in table.  We signed the little paper allowing me to assist her and she was given her ballot.  We went to the back of the room where she took a seat and I stood over her shoulder. 

G:  Do I have to fill in ALL these circles?

Me:  Well, just the ones you want to vote for.

G:  Oh dear.

Me:  You can vote a straight ticket it you want...

G:  How many circles do I fill in?

Me:  Just one.

G:  Let's do that.  I don't remember all their names anyway.

Grandma meticulously colored in her circle and left wearing her "I voted" sticker.

G:  What school is this?  (she said as we headed to the car.)

Me:  It's not a school, it's the Catholic Church.

G:  It does look sort of like a church.

Me:  I imagine you were used to voting at City Hall.

G:  I think so.

I returned to the church an hour later with DH to cast my own ballot.  The lady who used to golf with Grandma was still there and commented how nice it was to see her.

Me:  Yeah, I could have gotten her an absentee, but I thought she'd like to actually come to the polls.  I may rethink it next time.

A few hours later, DH, Grandma and I sat in the living room watching election returns.  The network aired a pre-recorded clip of President Obama campaigning for a senator seeking re-election.

G:  Did he get re-elected?

DH:  The senator?  The voting isn't over yet.

G:  No, the President ... did he win?

DH:  He wasn't running.

G::  He wasn't?  He's sure been on TV a lot.

DH:  No. He's not running for two more years.

 So there ya have it - Grandma's eventful week.  Mammogramed on a truck ... Voted in a church ... and a few boobs on the ballot.

So ends Episode 50