Long before we entertained thoughts of Grandma moving in with us, DH, CeCe and I had planned a long weekend trip during Spring Break, to visit our son and his family in Kentucky. We don't make the trip often and since we spend two days on the road - it's best to do so when school is not in session.
I'm a planner by nature - Grandma passed that trait onto me; so a couple weeks ago, I began preparation for the trip. I talked to two of our sons to see if either would be available to come stay at our house while we were gone. One said it wasn't likely, the other said he could come part of the time. I contact a friend of Grandma's who lives close by. She said she'd be happy to come spend time with her while we are gone. A day before we are to leave, the second son calls to say he will be able to come for a portion of the time after all. I enlist the cooperation of our next door neighbors to be available in case of emergency. Personnel: Check.
We stock the freezer with meals for those not delivered by Meals on Wheels and stock the fridge and cupboards with those things Grandma likes to eat... cottage cheese, fruit cups, pancake mix, cookies and pot pies. (Pot pie used to be a staple in Grandma's diet... she has had only one since moving in with us.) Food: Check.
I create a document detailing a day by day itinerary of who will be here and when, who will spend the night, the food to prepare, etc. I include phone numbers, instructions regarding the dogs, remote controls and a chart to track the administration of her medications. Documents are distributed to all involved: Check.
The day arrives for our trip. DH and I have taken the day off work and CeCe has gone to school for the first few periods. DH is packing while I give Grandma a shower and do her hair (the grandsons requested NOT to have to give Grandma a bath... request granted). The closer we get to departure time, the less comfortable Grandma becomes with the whole idea.
A few days prior, when I had first told her about it, I sweetened the scenario - emphasizing that two of her grandsons, their wives and Grandma's only great-granddaughter would be coming to stay with her:
G: I don't know about all this.
Me: All what Mom?
G: You leaving me and all these people coming in here.
Me: What's to be worried about?
G: I just don't think I'm up to taking care of them....
Me: You don't have to take care of anyone, they are coming to take care of you.
G: Well, do they know where anything is or will I have to tell them?
Me: They'll figure it out.
So I knew she was slightly apprehensive. She has been reading over her copy of the itinerary, carefully making notes in the margins. I'm upstairs trying to finish packing when she calls to me.
G: Where are you?!
Me: Upstairs, what do you need?
G: What day is it?
Me: Friday, the 12th.
G: Come here for a minute...
I go down to find her with her itinerary.
G: What does this check mark mean?
Me: I don't know Mom - you tell me... you made the check mark.
G: Oh.
G: What should we do about this?
Me: About what?
G: This.... from JC Penney. (she is holding an ad from today's newspaper). These dates are the same as the ones on the schedule... the 12th through the 16th.
Me: Hmmm,interesting but just a coincidence.
G: What should we do about it?
Me: Nothing... I'm not planning to shop there.
G: So should I write 'no' on it?
Me: No, just throw it away....
G: Are you sure? I think we need to do something with it. (I look at the clock... it is nearing the time for us to leave)
Me: Here, give it to me, I'll take care of it. (She hands it to me and I take it and place it in the recyling bin)
I'm taking bags and provisions out to DH who is loading the car and again I hear my name - I return to the house to find Grandma in the kitchen.
G: There you are.
Me: What do you need Mom?
G: How does my hair look? Do you think it looks ok?
Me: Yes Mom, it looks great. I just did it - don't you remember?
G: Well yes, but I wasn't sure it looked good.
Me: It does.
Back to the car... DH informs me CeCe has texted and is done taking the test she would be missing later in the day. It's time to go. We go in to say good-bye. Grandma is standing there with her itinerary.
Me: OK Mom, we're leaving now... your lunch will be here soon and Ruby will be down after that. You can call us if you want, we'll see you on Tuesday... take care of the dogs!
G: Alright... I'm going to miss you.,,, (three sets of puppy dog eyes stare at me.)
We drive away and I Twitter, "Respite weekend begins." A few minutes later, the out of state son, who is coming to help, calls my cell.
Son: How was Grandma when you left?
Me: Sort of sad. Why don't you give her a call. (ie: relieve my guilt)
Son: OK, I will.
A short while later, I get a call back from the son.
Son: Well, I called Grandma and she is ecstatic.
Me: She is?
Son: Yes - she's so excited we're coming and can't wait to see us.....
Me: Really....
And so it is: Grandma's Respite (from us) begins.
So ends Episode 11
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