Episode 36 - Good Moaning...

I'm a morning person. Always have been. My Dad used to say it was best to get up and enjoy the day before everyone else got up and ruined it. Once again, I glean wisdom from my father.

I have a morning routine (all morning people do) which includes coffee, Facebook, Bible reading and a few keyword searches on the Internet edition of the newspaper. DH and I have breakfast in the middle of that schedule and by 7:00, I am ready to get up "for good" and get ready for work. The time needed varies depending on the day (shower/washing my hair, etc.) Most days, I'm out of the house before 7:50, allowing ample time to drive the 7 blocks to work, walk up to the building, to my third floor office by 8:00. When school is in session, this drive also includes dropping CeCe off near her school.

Grandma's being here hasn't interfered too much with 'my' morning routine. She gets up to let Sammy outside and then sometimes returns to her basement bedroom. Other times, she gets her newspaper and turns on the TV in the main level living room. DH has the TV auto tuned to the Game Show Network at 7:00 a.m. (Trust me, there are no game shows on at that hour... just infomercials, for which Grandma has a strong liking.) I can run back and forth from my room to the main level several times without being derailed.... usually - but then there are days.

This week we had new flooring installed in our living room. This displaced Grandma, relegating her to the living room in her basement apartment. As I readied the house for the fellow doing our work (JR) I could see Grandma was a little anxious. I got her settled in her living room, tuned in some Gospel music, fixed her some toast with peanut butter and a cup of coffee (she'd already had cereal). 

G: So I'm down here all day and I won't see a soul?

Me: No, you can go upstairs and Ruby will be here later - but I think you'll be more comfortable here with the TV.... and the dogs. 

G: Maybe.

JR had not yet arrived when I left for work. I wasn't really worried about him with Grandma, as he has known her since he was a little boy. DH on the other hand, was concerned JR might charge us extra for having to work with Grandma supervising. (He didn't) but about 10:00 a.m., I got a call from my formerly distressed mother... now happy as a clam in her role of General Contractor. She reported to me about the dogs, and JR and how she would need me to let the Meals on Wheels people know to use the back entrance. 

JR had the job wrapped up by the end of the day but needed to come back the next day to finish some trim. The next morning, Grandma is determined to keep the dogs in the basement. I looked down the stairs from the kitchen, to see her with the tops of two TV trays leaned up against the bottom step.

G: I can't find my rock.

Me: What rock?

G: I had a rock I used yesterday to keep these in place. It's gone.

Me: Where'd you get it?

G: Outside, there was a committee meeting and I asked them for it. I think it said Lisbon on it.

(A light bulb went off in my head, I remembered seeing DH carry a rock back into our office on the main level. I went and retrieved it and held it up to Grandma.)

Me: Is this it?

G: Yes! That's it... where'd you find it?

Me: In the office. It's a door stop. Been there for 12 years, and it doesn't say Lisbon... it says Jesus.

G: Oh... well give it here.

Me: OK, but you don't need to keep the dogs in the basement today. JR is done except for a little finish work.

G: But we don't want them on the new floor.

Me: Yes we do... they won't hurt it.

G: Well, I'm glad to hear that. I carried Sam to go outside this morning... it about did me in! (you may recall we affectionately refer to Grandma's dog, as Sumo Sam)

Me: Don't do that again - you're both apt to get hurt.

The next morning, I heard her 'up' through the baby monitor. I remotely started her music in the basement. When I came down to the main level, she was in the kitchen.

Me: Your music is on in the basement.

G: I know… I finally got it. I worked and worked with that button and you said I couldn’t get music, but I did.

Me: No… I did that.

G: You couldn't have. I just did it. I was pushing buttons and all of a sudden, I got it to come on.

Me: Sorry - just a coincidence. It was me.

I'm making my lunch and she starts to complain about her hair not laying right. I look at the clock. It is 7:42.

Me: Here, come over here.

G: Where? Why?

Me: The sink... bend over. I'm going to wash your hair.

With that, I douse her hair with the sink sprayer, put a dollop of shampoo on my hand.... suds her up, rinse it out and grab a towel. I steer her to a stool in the kitchen, tell her to towel dry it while I fetch the hair blower. Ninety seconds of 1800 watt air later and her tresses were again fresh and fluffy. It was 7:47. I grabbed my lunch and headed out the door. I made it to work on time, but forgot my cell phone. I felt naked.

Another morning, while I'm still in bed, my cell phone rings. I recognize the familiar "home" ring ("It's your mom on the phone... don't moan and groan, you'd better answer it now, she'll never leave you alone"). I reach for and pick up the phone from my nightstand.

Me: Yes?

G: Hi, I hate to bother you but I have some questions regarding some papers I got in the mail. Will you be coming home later?

Me: Mom, I'm upstairs in my bed. You saw me a little bit ago when I got my coffee. I was in my nightgown. I still am.

G: Oh, well then, you will be coming down?

Me: It's a good bet.

And finally - this morning, after a restless night - I come down to find Grandma rearranging some things I had put in a specific place, for a specific purpose. I told her, (probably too curtly) to please not do that.

G: I'm always getting in trouble for doing things. I shouldn't talk, I shouldn't help... I don't do anything right... (AUGH! I snap)

Me: Hey! You can knock it off... I have every right to have a bad day now and then and you can't take credit for it. So stop it. 

G: OK.

This was all in one week (and I didn't mention the morning I found the bucket of dog treats in her room). Another story for another day. Day after day - every one is different, and every one is the same.

So ends Episode 36