Episode 33 - Sibling Rivalry

As you may recall, I was raised an only child. I never dealt first hand with siblings, vying for my parents' attention or sharing things I considered mine alone. Raising three sons was a gradual transition... you have one, then another... and another. There was a good share of fighting and rivalry, but I was a savvy mom who rolled with the punches (maybe threw a few too) and the boys survived their childhoods.

When CeCe came into my life, I had quite an adjustment. Never having had a sister, or a daughter before - I was not accustomed to my hair brush disappearing or slumber parties with non-stop giggling. I had to learn how to French braid hair and to recognize the latest teenage heart-throb (yesterday it was the Jonas Brothers but today, it's Robert Pattinson).

DH and I raising CeCe frequently puts me in mind of my own upbringing... an only daughter in a family of three...

And then came Grandma.

It wasn't gradual (I mean, with pregnancy you at least get 9 months) ... and the age gap is slightly greater than normal (70 years) As for a period of adjustment - it is still ongoing. One, because new situations continue to arise, and two, because Grandma tends to frequently forget so every situation can be "new" to her. Raising CeCe and having Grandma is the epitome of the Generation Gap. Not every family is like the Waltons.

CeCe and Grandma have been acquainted for nearly five years. In that time, CeCe has gone from a ten year old child to a fifteen year old "teenager" with accompanying attitude. She likes to spend time in her room, with her friends and basically doing what she wants to do. She has rules, responsibilities, curfews and consequences. Since CeCe and DH lived with his Dad as he struggled with memory loss, the circumstances aren't as dramatically different, as is the 9 year old she 'was' and the 15 year old she has become. There are occasions when CeCe's graciousness may be lacking - but for the most part, I think she's respectful.

This can't always be said about Grandma.

It's been a long while since Grandma has resided with a teenager (about 40 years). In that time, many things have changed ... for instance, cell phones have replaced teen lines, but other things have not... Teenage girls still leave their shoes wherever they take them off... and they have a LOT of shoes.

CeCe likes to cover up while watching TV ­- she doesn't especially care for returning her blanket to where she got it.  Grandma feels inclined to comment about these things, at her own discretion.... (or indiscretion).

Grandma likes her cookies (store bought for those who know me well) and I think she counts them. When CeCe has a friend over, they have been known to consume a few (or all) the cookies. To counter the attack, DH and I buy cookies with raisins (which Grandma loves and CeCe abhors).

Grandma has pretty much taken over the main level living room for a certain number of hours in the day. This has annoyed CeCe who enjoys lounging when she's not in school (and sadly, she is not a fan of Lawrence Welk.)

CeCe has grown accustomed to the supply of juice packets we keep on hand for Grandma and enjoys partaking of them. We're fine with that.  Juice drinks have to be better for her than soda, but when she uses the last one - she typically fails to replenish the supply in the refrigerator or leaves several partially drank packets lying around.

Grandma thinks CeCe runs around "half naked" (never mind it's hot, humid and what she chooses to wear or that we keep the house warm to make Grandma happy.)

CeCe (when recently grounded from her cell phone) told Grandma she couldn't use the house phone when she picked up the extension and began dialing.

CeCe: Grandma - you can't use the phone. I'm using it.

Grandma reports to us that CeCe has been using HER phone. We explain to her that it is the house phone and all of us make calls on it. Grandma insists CeCe was using HER phone (picking up and showing us the cordless phone by her chair).

Me: It's all the same Mom - we have like ten phones in the house... they are all on one line.

G: So I can't use my phone?
Me: Not when someone else is using it.
G: What if someone is trying to call me?
Me: They can leave a message and you can call them back later (as in, when we get home).

She's not buying it and she's not happy.

School has been out for three weeks. There's probably six more before it begins again. It will be an interesting, character building period of time that we can either referee or ignore. We choose to merely monitor. We want to keep CeCe respectful and compassionate - but Grandma within her bounds.

Me: Mom, you don't remember when I was CeCe's age. All the friends I had over... the messes we made... the trouble we'd get into. I doubt very much that my Grandma would have been able to handle it - just like you have trouble now.
G: I don't remember Grandma having any problems with you.
Me: No, I imagine you don't -  She didn't have a chance.
G: She didn't?  Why not?
Me: You put her in a nursing home.

So ends Episode 33