Episode 62 - Transition - Part 1

It's been a hard couple weeks.  A week ago Saturday, DH and I took the dogs to the groomer only to learn that Sam (Grandma's dog) had an open sore and couldn't be groomed. They thought it might be an "exploded anal gland" and I thought I would be sick.  Nothing can happen to that dog.  He is Grandma's BFF. We returned home with one groomed dog...  and one 'not'.  I told Grandma I thought I'd made two appointments, but they only had room for one.  A bald faced lie but she believed me.  On Monday, I took Sam to the Vet and it turned out he had a tumor which had broken open. It was removed and he came home the next day.  They (Sam and Grandma) were thrilled to be reunited.  No one was happier, than me.

The day Sam came home though, Grandma seemed unusually confused.  Although awakened from a nap by a phone call from Ruby - she was disoriented and couldn't place who Ruby was (or who I was for that matter).  She called me at work, per "this Ruby's" instruction and said, "Are you my daughter?"  I can't explain how that feels, although I know many of you reading have experienced this pain.  "Yes Mom... I am."  We talked for several minutes and she finally seemed back in reality.  I made a few calls and eventually got an appointment for her to be evaluated again.  It had been three years since her last one. They gave me the date of February 22.  Seriously? 

A few times during the week, she made mention of the "other place" that she'd been staying... "No Mom... you've spent the past year with us.  You've never stayed anywhere else recently."  This "other place" was what prompted the first evaluation in 2008. 

My oldest son (Belle's daddy) came down and spent his lunch hour with her a couple days that week.  He thought she was fairly cognisant and said they had a nice visit the first time.  The second time ... he arrived to find her lying on the laundry room floor where she had fallen.  She complained of pain in her arm but she could move it, so he put ice on it and called me.  We knew she was down for less than five minutes, because he had called her at that point out, to let her know he was almost there.

One or both of us were home with her all day Saturday, but that evening, we went to a company event for DH's work.  Grandma was in her jammies and happy as a clam with a #1 combo from Hardee's and gospel music on the TV when we left.  CeCe was gone as well.  We locked the front door, as always.  When DH and I returned later in the evening, we found ourselves locked out of the house.  Our usual entrance, through the garage (for which we have an opener) was locked.  I pounded on the door, causing Ginger to go into a Tibetan bark.  Although knowing the windows were locked, DH waded through the snow (in dress shoes of course) to rap on Grandma's bedroom window.  I went to the front and rang the doorbell furiously.  DH yells around that she's not in her bed... more barking... and finally - Grandma opens the door.  "We're in!" I yell back to him.

Everyone was upset.  Grandma said 'someone' told her she was supposed to lock that door.  I reminded her it was the only way we had into the house.  DH said he was going to take the lock off the door.  Frustration, irritation and fear.... Grandma said she woke up "scared" because she couldn't find us.  She knew (or had known) where we were going.  She had our cell numbers.  But when she woke up 'afraid' she picked up the house phone, and called the house phone, leaving a message on the voicemail.  Her last words as she went back down to her bedroom... were "I hope you're happy, because I'm not."

I had called her church's driving ministry earlier on Saturday to let them know she wouldn't be going to church on Sunday.  Between the increased confusion and her fall, I thought it best she stay home.  She wasn't up yet when we left, earlier than usual, for our church.  When we returned... she was not to be found, but according to our phone log... she had called her church at 9:00 and they returned her call at 9:13.  Though some days she's not aware of the day of the week... she apparently knew it was Sunday... and that there was no one's name on the whiteboard, letting her know who'd pick her up.  She took matters into her own hands - and "got herself" to church.  We were home the rest of the day, watching football.  Grandma made us smile as she sang the National Anthem before each play-off game.

Monday morning, from work, I placed a call to Grandma's doctor.  I made an appointment for that afternoon and asked that the doctor give me a call before that time.  When he called, I relayed some of the past week's incidents to him.  "I want to be sure she doesn't have a broken bone from her fall.  I don't know if she is safe to be here alone.  I want someone else to tell me if she can't live with me. I don't want to be the one to send her to a nursing home."  I was emotional.  This isn't the way I wanted it to be.  I wanted to take care of her until one night, while she was sleeping... Jesus let himself into our locked house and took my mother to heaven.

At the appointment, Grandma's doctor asked her if she'd ever considered assisted living.  Grandma told him she lived with me and I assisted her.  He explained this would be a place where there were others her age she could "hang out with."  Although Grandma asked about what it would cost ... she was open to the possibility.  In the meantime, the doctor wanted to put her in the hospital overnight for some tests.  We would take her there when DH got home from work.

I told Grandma we should wash her hair so she looked nice for the hospital.  She didn't seem to care, but let me suds her up in the sink.  I took the brush and hair dryer and proceeded to style her hair.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought, this might be the last time I "do" Grandma's "doo".  It was a job I hadn't been that comfortable with a year ago... and now it was second nature.  We packed a few items for her overnight stay... and when DH arrived home - the three of us went to the hospital.

So ends Episode 62